by Helene Malmsio
OK so now we begin working on the FEARS that hold us back. And in my journey to reclaim my personal power in 2014 I'm probably going to have some surprises opening up to me during the next few days of the Personal Power II coaching.
This is because I've already had a few surprises in some of these earlier sessions, despite doing this course nearly every year since 2000, I have changed, my circumstances have changed, my industry (IM) has changed, and along the way I have developed some new beliefs that absolutely do not serve me in my new goals for life and business.
The fact that (despite considerable success in IM over the past 10 years), I have begun last year to feel like a failure in IM was a shocker for me. It is one of the problems with being a chronic over-achiever, and I had to do some work to give that new belief the heave-ho before it held me back any more.
So today Tony starts off asking if I am afraid of success... well, no, of course not... I want all the success I can create!
But this is not as obvious as we might think. Fear and adrenalin are helpful and useful to help us, save us from danger, and also as a tool to motivate ourselves into positive action.
The problem is when we get confused about fear/danger and end up anchoring unhelpful and disempowering beliefs to goals we set ourselves.
For instance, when your standards are ridiculous, or you are a perfectionist, you are destined to feel like a failure most of the time. Not clever.
So, I'm going to do the exercises and see what success means to me at this point of my life and what it takes to feel like a "failure" nowadays, and see what's going on in that head of mine.
What would you do in life if you KNEW that you absolutely could not fail at it?
Most people come up with a ton of things they'd like to do, but are simply afraid to start on because they are convinced they will fail before they even begin.
Assignment / Action:
1. Define what must happen for me to feel successful?
* Achieve the targets/goals I set myself --- at least 80% of the time
* Financially stable and secure, enough to pay bills without stress
* Achieving Self growth from learning new skills, experiencing the joy of Accomplishment, and solving any new challenges/problems.
* Calm, contented lifestyle with family and friends, no traumatic relationship challenges.
* Living and working within my beliefs and values in life.
* Feeling like a valuable contributor and resource to the community/world - making a difference, leaving the world a better place.
* Being slim, fit, energetic and feeling confident and attractive.
2. Define what must happen for me to feel a failure?
* Broke, afraid, not able to financially care for myself/family.
* Stuck in a rut, no way to get out, stagnant, no self growth or way to improve my life/livelihood.
* Unhappy, stressed, ill, weak, fat, helpless - not in control of my body, my wellbeing, or my attitude.
* Needing more help from others, than I can contribute back.
* Not achieving my goals - failing to meet my targets.
I'm not doing specifics like so many people do... eg: MUST make $100k pa - or MUST weigh 58kilos - or MUST drive a Ferrari and so on.
My definitions are more about generalized practicalities and feelings.
I'm pretty happy about these core beliefs, don't think I need too much changing to simplify them... eg: every day I'm above ground I am successful etc.
But for most people who haven't been doing this for years, there would need to be some work, and it can be done by associating pain to the negative beliefs and anchoring pleasure to the new positive beliefs.
Tony goes through the practical exercises to change your state, and what you associate with that goal/action so that you can create an Anchor that you can tap into whenever you need to pump yourself... Pavlov's dog.
But first you deflate and disempower any strong negative beliefs about success that you have by doing the exercises that reduce the pain and even ridicule your old fears/memories, and interrupt any old patterns that make your behaviour a self fulfilling prophesy that you will fail at doing something.
This is where you learn about 'scratching the record' to just about destroy the emotions you have associated with any past 'failures' in your life so far.
VERY effective NLP strategies - Erasure techniques. Easy to do, works like a charm.
And the next thing is to start rehearsing my successes. To visualize my goal/target, see it happen, feel it happen, trick my brain into believing it already has happened, practice, practice, practice mentally the success moves that got me there, and then just get out of my own way - lol!
Visualizing to the fullest extent possible is a powerful tool to make (or magnetize) your dreams.
Next Tony talks about Fear of Rejection.
Rejection is a CORE fear that we all have to deal with. It is the 'essence' behind so many of our fears that you might not automatically associate with a fear of rejection.
Tony discuses some examples, and it makes great sense.
Then there is a written exercise to get you thinking about the hard facts:
1. What is the price you will pay if you don't learn how to control your fear of rejection?
2. What are all the benefits you will gain in life if you can control it and free yourself from this fear of rejection?
Then create a new set of rules for yourself of what it would take for you to feel rejected. Make it harder for you to ever be able reach that point.
Make it so that you no longer ACCEPT the rejection given by anyone, it has no value to you any more, you don't AGREE with that person any more.
And if you have any experiences that you classify as being rejected, use the erasure techniques to take away their power, and create new positive anchors that can take you through anything, including even a new event of that same old 'rejection' happening to you again.
Next I get to enjoy a weekend of subliminals to tune up my brain as well, and get ready for the new week ahead.
Are you doing the Tony Robbins Personal Power II along with me?
*Note* To see where it all began...
I'm Reclaiming my Personal Power Again for 2014
Week 1:
Reclaiming My Personal Power - Sessions 1+2+3
Reclaiming My Personal Power - Session 4
Reclaiming My Personal Power - Session 5
Week 2:
Reclaiming My Personal Power in 2014 - Session 6
Reclaiming My Personal Power in 2014 - Session 7 & 8
Reclaiming My Personal Power in 2014 - Session 9 + 10
Week 3:
Reclaiming My Personal Power RIGHT NOW - Session 11 + 12
Reclaiming My Personal Power RIGHT NOW - Session 13
Reclaiming My Personal Power RIGHT NOW - Session 14
Reclaiming My Personal Power RIGHT NOW - Session 15
Next: On the home run now ---- Week 4:
Reclaiming My Personal Power - Session 16
Tell me what you are working on with your action plan for 2014, and what you know are the conditioning obstacles you need to overcome before you can move onward to your ultimate success...
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