How to Find Friendship When You Need a Friend

Friends, they say, can become closer than a brother.

For most of us, friendships are a big part of our existence. These relationships we form are the ones that help us go through life and are there with us through thin, which builds a strong bond that lasts a lifetime.

Usually, our most memorable moments are with our friends, either good or bad. And I think it’s safe to say that our lives wouldn’t be the same without some of our friends. We wouldn’t be who we are without them.

While making new friends can be a bit intimidating, for some, it is certainly rewarding in the end when you make the right ones. The friends we keep around us most times determine how successful we will be in all aspects of our lives.

So, how do we make friends when we need them, a friendship that will last and have a good impact on our lives?

Here are some top tips for making friends:

1. Take initiative.

Everyone is waiting for someone to make the first move. If you meet people you want to make friends with, take the initiative. Start a conversation and talk about something that may interest them to get their attention.

● You can start with a simple “hi” and say something you observed around that could get them interested. Allow them to talk when they respond and listen to them, so you can keep the conversation going.

● It doesn’t have to be a personal conversation, especially during your first interaction—just something interesting to create a common ground and break the ice.

2. Join a new club or organization.

You can always join clubs and meet people who share the same interests. It is a straightforward way to meet new people and make friends without trying harder.

● It can be a book club, charity organization, dance group, or music group. There are a lot of clubs and groups you could join.

● And since you all share something in common, it could always be a conversation starter. You may never know the friendships you can build through.

3. Be friendly.

Friendly People are more likely to make friends easily. Because you are constantly being such good energy and are free to talk to anyone, people like being around them.

● They always have a way of breaking the ice and making and creating a good save to start a meaningful conversation. Don’t keep to yourself when you are out or separate yourself from everyone else.

● You create a barrier when you do that and make it. It is hard for others to approach you.

4. Don’t look for similarities.

You don’t always need to have the same interests or hobbies. You can develop wonderful friendships with your friends even if you don’t share similar goals and hobbies with someone.

● Genuine friendships see beyond interests, don’t assume because your interests are different, you can’t have a fruitful company.

5. Be a good listener.

Everyone wants to be seen and heard, so make it a point to pay attention when the other is talking. You can do that by keeping eye contact, nodding, or responding to what the person is saying.

It shows you are interested in the person, and they will feel respected and seen.

6. Stay in touch.

What is a friendship without keeping in touch with each other? Communication is the foundation of all relationships.

So, when you have interacted with someone and exchanged numbers, don’t forget to call or message them back.

● You can text or call to ask if you got home safely. This will go a long way to show your interest, and the person will appreciate it. Keeping communication is very important if you want to maintain a friendship.

● If you know you have a problem doing that, communicate that to the other person and work.

We all need friends in our lives, and to find friendship will take more than just saying hi to each other.

You need to put in the effort and be intentional about finding opportunities, taking the initiative, and maintaining communication.

There’s so much love in friendship, and you can find that too!

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Cheers, Helene Malmsio

Related Reading: How To Build Friendships - free self help online guide

How To Be A More Supportive Friend

There are so many ways that we can support our friends, but that bond can be lost if we don’t nurture our relationships.

There are many ways to be a more supportive friend, which will not only help those around you, but also allow you to do some self-reflection on the kind of person you want to be.

Let’s look at some of the ways you can become a more supportive friend.

How to be more supportive:

1. Check-in on your friends.

If you haven’t spoken to a friend for a while, then consider taking some time out of your schedule to pick up the phone and call them.

* Alternatively, you could visit them and bring a gift. Perhaps you could cook them their favorite dish or bring a gift to their house, unexpectedly, to show that they are in your thoughts.

* Just reaching out can support a friend. As people, we tend to hide in our shells when we have issues, so connecting with those that matter to you can be a great way to find out how they are and support them if they need it.


2. Get a date on the calendar.

Instead of just picking up the phone, why not create a ‘friend date’ and get together?

* Get in touch with a friend you haven’t seen for a while and build that rapport again. Perhaps invite them out for lunch, or you could cook for them and show off your culinary skills.

* You could even cook together, making it a group activity which you can both bond over.

* Go for a walk in the fresh air together, or visit a museum or exhibition. Find time to reconnect and support each other. Remember, though, this only happens if you make the effort to connect first!

3. Remember key dates and anniversaries.

If your friend has started a new job, moved, or hit a milestone of some kind, mark the occasion with a message, gift, or card. The small sentiment shows that you are invested in your friends' lives and want to make the most of their successes.

* You can celebrate the small successes and the larger ones, making your friends feel important and valued.

* Write down important dates in the calendar so you are available for a congratulatory lunch, or just a walk through the park to celebrate the end of a successful week.

* The small touches can sometimes be the most significant ones!

4. Listen and respond.

If your friend is struggling with a relationship crisis or may be considering changing jobs, it’s important to listen to them.

* Remember not to be judgemental or force your opinions or beliefs onto them. Your job is to be a sympathetic ear and a gentle, guiding presence as they navigate the world around them.

* Take time to think carefully about what your friend is saying and offer options and opinions. Show them that you have time for them and care about the choices they make.

We’re only human. Sometimes, we aren’t as supportive as we could be. Often, this isn’t out of spite or neglect, but it's caused by our busy schedules.

Just a few small gestures to reconnect can make someone's week, and help you feel happier as you strive to work towards being the person you are aspiring to be.

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