Set Boundaries. Boundaries are the limits in which people live their lives. They’re based on what you’re not willing to put up with in a situation or with another person. Setting a boundary means you set constraints on what’s acceptable.
These constraints can refer to what you’ll accept for your emotional or physical self. When you have a boundary, it feels a lot like self care - because it is.
It means that you recognize that what you need to be whole and healthy is equally as necessary as what others may need.
Boundaries are meant to protect your space. It means that your opinions don’t change just because someone else thinks differently.
An example of this could be a woman who doesn’t want to be around someone who’s always creating family drama, so she doesn’t put herself around them.
Another relative thinks that behavior should be tolerated, and tries to nag or belittle the woman into believing the same way.
Having boundaries means saying no when something crosses the line of what’s okay with you.
It might be something such as telling an ex that it’s not okay to keep calling. Or it could mean letting people know they can’t just drop by your home without an invitation.
A boundary stops you from being used and it shuts down mistreatment.
If there’s a coworker who thinks it’s okay to scream at people and you tell him you’re not going to engage in a conversation when that kind of behavior is present, then you walk away, that’s a healthy boundary.
Sometimes your boundaries may make people uncomfortable, but that’s their issue to overcome - or not. When you set boundaries, you establish the way that people are allowed to treat you.
When you don’t set boundaries, you can get treated in ways that aren’t good for you.
Take Risks
It’s human nature to reach a comfort point and stay there. This can happen in every part of your life.
You can reach a certain point with your weight, your health, your finances and your relationships and you settle in for the long haul because change is risky.
It means you may have to stretch. You may have to reach outside of your comfort zone.
Usually when people are challenged to step away from what’s familiar and leave it behind, they begin to backpedal.
You might list dozens of ways why it’s better to stick with what you know than make the leap into the unknown.
You may have wanted to lose weight and you’ve wanted it for a while now, but it would mean some major changes to reach that point of self improvement.
So you don’t do it because your partner isn’t on board. Without support, you just don’t see how you could accomplish it anyway - so you don’t make that move. You don’t take that risk.
What you have to realize is that if you put off risk, if you keep on living the way you’ve been living up until this point, then nothing will ever change. Self improvement is about change.
That thing that you’ve put off doing out of fear, out of weighing the risks and falling back into old habits - is probably the very thing that would change your life and put you on track to realizing your dreams.
Give Up Procrastination
Procrastination is a barrier to self improvement. You’ll start the diet tomorrow. You’ll set boundaries after this next family vacation.
You’ll change your negative habits when you have more money, time, or a better life situation.
Procrastination is really fear that’s just all dressed up. You don’t embark on a self improvement course because you fear that you’ll fail. You don’t want to get your hopes up, so you do nothing.
Maybe you’re worried that you’ll become the object of criticism or that you’ll get rejected by people you care about if you change something about yourself.
When you give in to procrastination, it means you’re putting success on the back burner.
You might think you’re not making a choice one way or another, but you are. Not making a choice is actually making one. So that thing that you want to improve about yourself?
Stop putting it off. The lack of action on your part is eating away at your self confidence. It’s undermining your success and you were meant for more in life than what you’ve allowed yourself to have.
You know why you procrastinate? Because of where your focus is.
When you focus on why you can’t change something or why it might not work to do something, you see obstacles the size of mountains.
When you focus on the all the ways the change will make your life better, you see possibilities.
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Cheers, Helene Malmsio
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