How and Why Others Try to Hold You Back From Success

When you’re trying to change your life, there will be people that feel the need to get in your way. A few of them might actually believe they’re trying to help you, but they’re not.

They want you to stay just the way you are. That way, they can feel comfortable about not improving themselves, too.

It’s frustrating to find out that few people are on your side, but it’s something that must be managed if you want to succeed.

See how others may try to derail your success:

1. They point out your past failures.

We’ve all failed numerous times in the past. Some people in your life will undoubtedly bring up those failures in an attempt to sabotage your efforts.

Suppose you decide you want to climb all the 14,000-foot+ peaks in the US. You might be reminded by a “friend” that you couldn’t even climb the 2,000-foot peak at summer camp.

They might even suggest that you come up with a more reasonable goal.

2. They will try to make you feel guilty.

Guilt is another weapon. Sticking with our mountain climbing theme, you might be told that all that travel is expensive.

You might also be told that you should be saving all the money for your child’s college education. Or maybe you should spend all that time with your family instead.

3. They try to distract you.

“Hey, forget the mountains. Let’s all go on a big vacation together instead.”

These are just a few of the less devious ways those around you might try to sabotage your efforts.

But why would they do it in the first place? It doesn’t seem kind and supportive, and it’s not. Though they might try to present it that way.

There are several reasons why people close to you try to sabotage your efforts:

1. They want to stay comfortable with their mediocrity.

If you do something amazing, they have to deal with the fact that they have not. No one wants to feel like they’re losing the game of life.

Rather than deal with their own fear, insecurity, and laziness, it’s just easier and less work to hold you back.

2. Jealousy.

While there are some people that are genuinely happy to see you achieve something great, win the lottery, or lose 50 pounds, there are even more that are jealous.

They’ll try to stop you from being successful. And if that doesn’t work, they’ll attempt to diminish the value of your success.

For example, “Oh, if I had all of your free time, I could easily lose 50 pounds, too.”

3. People don’t like change.

Everyone is getting something from you. If they got nothing out of their relationship with you, they wouldn’t associate with you at all.

If you change, it threatens the status quo. If you become something different, where does that leave them?

It’s psychologically easier for them if you just stay the same.

The solution is to commit to being successful in spite of the objections of others.

You might want to consider removing the worst offenders from your life. Life is hard enough without having your own friends and family trying to make it even harder.

Commit to your goals for the right reason. Impressing others is a shallow reason for doing something. Do it for yourself.

Consider keeping your big goals to yourself. You receive less resistance from others.

Choose what’s best for your life and do it! You don’t need the approval of others.

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A 7-Step Process to Overcome Fear and Self-Doubt

Fear and self-doubt are two things that every normal person faces. These are also two of the biggest obstacles to success and happiness.

Some people feel more fear and self-doubt than others. And, some are better at overcoming these emotions than others.

Regardless of where you fall on the fear/self-doubt spectrum, there are many things you can do to rise above these emotions.

Conquer your fear and self-doubt with this process:

1. Identify what you’re actually afraid of.

What do you really fear? Most of us don’t have to worry about being eaten by tigers. Our lives are rarely in danger.

The most common fears in a modern society are failure and making a fool out of one’s self. Of course, there are others.

If you want to start a business, but can’t seem to get started, what is your real concern?

Maybe you want to ask out a coworker on a date. What is the real fear? They certainly aren’t going to hit you over the head with a rock.

Be aware of your actual fear, and then you’ll have a chance of addressing it.

2. Find situations related to your fear that are only mildly uncomfortable.

Perhaps you have a fear of public speaking. What could you do that’s similar, but less terrifying? You could:

◦ Give a speech to a group of friends
◦ Start conversations with strangers
◦ Visualize yourself giving a speech
◦ Do more group activities and speak up more

If you’re afraid of heights, you could start by looking down over a 2nd floor balcony and slowly work your way up to greater heights.

3. Take action.

Thinking creates and magnifies fear. Taking action lessens fear.

One of the best ways to get over fear is to immediately take action before you have a chance to talk yourself out of it.

Most people would be more successful, happier, and less afraid if they thought less and did more.

4. Visualize yourself being unafraid.

Imagine you have a twin that’s similar to you, but different in other ways.

If you could build the perfect twin, what would they be like? What skills, beliefs, and attitudes would they have? How would they handle the situation that creates fear in you?

Allow yourself to become that twin.

5. Give yourself small successes.


Set yourself up to win. Make the game so easy that you can’t fail. As you gain confidence, up the stakes a little.

Get used to being successful in the situations that cause you to feel fear.

If the thought of making 100 cold calls a day makes you break out in a cold sweat, give yourself the goal of making just one cold call. The next day, you can do three.

6. Be realistic.

What is the worst consequence you are likely to endure if the thing you fear comes true? It’s probably not anything you can’t handle!


7. Get help. Whether you need some help from a friend or a professional, there’s no shame in getting help.

You would get help if your car’s engine blew up. You’d get help if you had a broken leg. Get the help you need to deal with your fears.

How much do you allow fear and self-doubt to rule your life? Imagine what your life would be like if you could overcome all of your fears and self-doubt.

Most people avoid the actions that trigger these uncomfortable feelings.

You can do better. You can act in the face of these emotions and live your life to the fullest.

Related reading https://www.discoveryhub.net/self-development-plan-sample.html

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