Heal Your Own Self Esteem with a Focus on These 4 Things

Self esteem is often linked directly with success in life for a number of reasons. If you’re not confident in yourself, you likely won’t get very far at all because you won’t be able to take any initiative.

There are four main factors that influence your self esteem: feelings, thoughts, behaviors, and actions. How well you develop each factor will determine how much self esteem you have, and in turn, will affect your success.

Feelings are the most basic of the four factors. This is how you react emotionally immediately after something happens. If you have a lot of negative feelings, you might be quick to be annoyed or get upset.

You need to adapt your feelings in such a way that you’ll be more likely to react positively to things and are able to handle negative feelings well.

Feelings are very important in self esteem because they can dictate how you handle certain situations, whether it be in a positive or negative way.

Thoughts aren’t the most complex, but can hold the most weight out of the four factors. Thoughts are anything you might have running through your head, and these can have an effect on your feelings, behaviors, and actions.

Negative thoughts might be thinking about things that you’re stressed about and doubting your abilities to do things.


You need to be able to recognize negative thoughts and stop them immediately and develop positive thoughts in order to help your self esteem.

Behaviors are difficult to recognize because these are the things you do subconsciously. For example, walking around hunched with your head low and shoulders slumped might be a sign of low confidence, but you don’t necessarily recognize that you do it.

Try asking friends if they notice any certain things that you do, and once you notice them, you’ll be able to work on them – or be very self aware of how you behave on an hourly basis.

Actions are the final step that will connect your self esteem to success. One of the worst actions that you might be taking is inaction, or doing nothing at all.

By learning how to take risks and put your thoughts into action, you’ll not only boost your success, but you’ll also have a higher feeling of self esteem.

All of these factors build on one another, with thoughts affecting reactions, reactions affecting behaviors, and behaviors affecting actions. In order to know how to be confident in yourself, you have to have a good grip on those factors.

Your Own Self Esteem Will Determine How Much You Trust Others

Many people try to make their way to a successful life all on their own. They want to be the definitive reason that they became successful. Seldom does it ever work out like that, though.

Having people help you and occasionally relying on others is just about the only way that you’re really going to end up becoming successful.

However, being able to have people help you requires you to trust them at all in the first place.

If you can’t trust any of the people who are trying to help you, you either won’t accept their help or they’ll just stop trying to help you out of frustration. At this point you’ll essentially be left on your own, and will likely not succeed.

It may be your own lack of self esteem that’s holding you back from trusting others. If you think poorly of yourself, you’ll start to construct this skewed view of the world in your mind.

You might think that you’re a mess, and that nobody would ever really want to be your friend or help you. If you’ve got a low opinion of yourself, you’ll have doubts as to why others would have a higher opinion of you.

This type of thinking can lead to you almost being paranoid that others are just trying to gain your trust to use you. This can come from similar past experiences or just from a general sense of self-loathing.

Either way, it’s extremely toxic to people who are genuinely trying to help you because they really do care about you, and it can really drive them away.

You have to learn to hold yourself to a higher standard so that when people like you, it doesn’t seem unnatural to you.

You don’t have to go as far as to be cocky and self-centered, but you should at least like yourself enough to not be suspicious when other people like you as well – especially if they’re trying to help you achieve your goals.

Once you start to love yourself, you’ll be a lot more willing to accept and trust others. It might have to come slowly, but if you can get there in the end, it’ll most certainly be worth it.

You’ll build up a group of people that’ll be there to actually support you in your endeavors and help you along your way to success, which can take a lot of weight off of your shoulders.

Teach Yourself How to Be Assertive to Achieve the Outcome You Desire

When you start to get a good look at all the different kinds of people who have found success in their lives, you start to notice some similarities between them.

Even if they work in different fields or are successful in different ways, they have some common attributes between them.

One of the most important ones that you’ll find is that they’re typically assertive. Assertiveness can best be described as being firm, but fair.

You’re very clear about your goals, and you’ll work hard towards them, but you don’t make a lot of enemies along the way.

Assertive people are not passive. They will stand up for themselves and work through their problems directly. Assertiveness is not to be confused with abrasiveness.

Being strong willed is great, but when you immediately try to force your way to success, you’ll be stepping on a lot of toes.

Once you start making enemies along the way, your path to success starts to become a lot more difficult. It’s not too complicated to start to become more assertive, but your starting point will determine what you need to work on.

Most people who struggle with success fall into the passive category, and need to work their confidence up to be more assertive. However, there are many who are too aggressive and need to learn to dial it back to assertiveness.

If you’re too passive, the problem you’ll encounter most often is that you’re not really able to get to where you want to be without people stepping on you along the way.

You’ll typically struggle with confrontational situations, and the moment someone steps into a situation who’s more confident than you, you’ll end up surrendering to them.

Start standing up for yourself and taking the reins on more situations. One tip that can help a lot if you’re not feeling confident enough to stand up to someone is to think a little less about the situation and act more on instinct.

If you’re too aggressive, you may notice that people start to alienate themselves from you, typically either because they don’t want to be associated with you or because you’ve driven them away, and sometimes it’s both.

At this point you need to learn how to control your emotions and think more clearly about things and convey them appropriately.

Realize that you can’t and shouldn’t strongarm every situation. You may have to talk things out and occasionally concede to your opponent.

Related Reading: how to build self esteem.

"Power Tips" magazine is back!
You Get A Free Complete Self Help Report delivered to your email box every edition, plus you get a free PLR article and other great gifts!

SUBSCRIBE BELOW ...  I promise you will want to USE what you learn!

I really want to know what you think of this site, this page, and to hear your tips or suggestions about it.

So please share your story or simply add a Comment in the comment box.

If you feel that the information on this page has been useful to you please give it a Like or share it with your friends - thanks!!

"You are a life Saver!!

I recently discovered this site and I can tell you that my life has not been the same. I now come here EVERYDAY and spend at least 1 hour.

I used to spend that time browsing online fashion and beauty magazine which just means that I spend more. Now I have replaced that habit with coming here.

In future I will think about contributing articles as well. Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!! and God bless"

Contact Us | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | FAQ | Testimonials

Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Product prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any price and availability information displayed on [relevant Amazon Site(s), as applicable] at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product.