7 Ways to Get More Respect

Does it seem like people don’t listen to what you have to say? Do you feel ignored? Many people don’t receive the respect they either feel they deserve or would like. Unfortunately, once we train people to treat us a certain way, it’s challenging to change. But, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Try these techniques to get the respect you deserve:

1. Do what you say you’re going to do.

We all know how challenging it can be to follow through on your proclamations, whether you agree to pick up someone at the airport or you’re trying to follow a diet.

◦ We respect people that actually do the things they say they’re going to do. It shows reliability and self-control, both of which are worthy of anyone’s respect.

2. Live your values.

When you know your values and live them, it’s clear to others that you have principles and follow them. It also makes it easier for you to make productive decisions and to advance your life.

◦ There are many benefits to identifying your values and putting them into practice each and every day.

3. Call out disrespect when it happens.

People can lose respect for you if they treat you poorly and you allow them to get away with it. Just seeing others get away with being disrespectful to you can cause them to lose respect.

◦ Let others know that you don’t appreciate the treatment you’re receiving. Looking someone in the eye and telling them you’re displeased can be surprisingly powerful.

4. Speak up.

Another mistake we often make in the name of being nice is allowing others to have their way. We’ll let others pick the restaurant, the movie, or the vacation location. When you act like everyone else’s opinion is more important than your own, people start to believe it’s actually true.

◦ Give your opinion when it comes to what’s going on in your life. Act like your opinion matters, and people will realize that you matter, too.

5. Avoid over-apologizing.

When you mess up, apologize. When you apologize too much, you appear weak. Weak people don’t receive a lot of respect in our society.

◦ Don’t apologize for the music you listen to in your car, the fact that you only have water to drink in your house, or because an accident on the highway made you late.

◦ When you don’t mess up or mistreat someone, it’s not your responsibility to apologize.

6. Work on your body language.

Your body language can reveal more than your words. Keeping your head up, back straight, and maintaining good eye contact can make a huge difference.

◦ Movies can be a great way to learn about body language. Find a strong character and study them.

7. Consider the impression you make.

Think about how you judge strangers in the grocery store. Imagine that you see one man with disheveled hair, a dirty t-shirt, flip flops, and 50 extra pounds. Your impression of him is very different that than of a man you see with a $90 haircut, a suit, a $300 pair of shoes, and a fit body.

◦ Consider what your appearance says to others. Do you look like the type of person that deserves respect?

◦ This might seem shallow, but that doesn't mean it isn’t true. Do your best to look your best.

Few things feel worse than disrespect. We inadvertently teach others that they don’t have to respect us, so they don’t.

However, we can teach them to treat us differently. Be a person that deserves respect and respect yourself enough to demand it from others. You can change how others view you.

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Cheers, Helene Malmsio

Related Reading: How To Build Friendships - free self help online guide

Reacting Versus Responding - The Difference Matters to You

Do you react or respond? It might seem like splitting hairs, but there is a huge difference between reacting and responding.

Learn the difference and why it matters so much. Changing the tendency to react will result in an easier and more successful life.

Reacting is a spontaneous reaction that is driven by emotion. A response is a more thoughtful, logical, intelligent response. In a nutshell, that is the big difference.

Successful people respond. Unsuccessful people react.

What about you? Do you think that you mostly react or respond? Let’s find out.

Consider these differences:

1. A reaction lacks thought.

Reactions are instinctive and lack any thought or analysis. Your brain is capable of making good decisions, if it actually gives the situation some thought and consideration. Your greatest advantage over other creatures in the world is the ability to think, so use it to your advantage!

◦ Reactions are a response designed to increase comfort in the very short term. This is rarely the optimal response, though. A reaction seeks to soothe discomfort without involving the intellect.

2. A reaction is quick.

Reactions are often quick, bordering on instantaneous. Quick decisions are rarely as effective as those that were made patiently and carefully. As a general rule, the less time you spend on something, the worse you’ll do it.

3. A reaction is aggressive.

Reactions are often counterstrikes to an uncomfortable situation. For example, you might make a harsh comment to someone that hurt your feelings. The intention of many reactions is to get back at someone.

4. A reaction is also defensive.

You might have an argument with your boss and suddenly decide to quit your job. A reaction like this is to relieve anxiety. Defensive reactions are almost always a huge mistake in the long term.

5. A reaction often creates additional difficulties.

Reactions often create additional challenges. When the long term is sacrificed for the short term, there will be pain coming your way.

◦ Quitting your job can result in financial challenges. Yelling at your spouse creates relationship troubles. Punching a jerk in the face can land you in prison.

6. A response is intelligent and thoughtful.

A response is a wise, productive response to a situation. For example, you recognize that you don’t like your job, so you start looking for a new one. Or, someone insults you, so you decide to avoid them in the future.

◦ A response uses your wisdom and considers the ultimate outcome from that course of action.

7. A response takes as much time as necessary.

A response isn’t rushed. You consciously decide to take the time necessary to make a smart decision. Why rush if you don’t have to? The more thought you give the situation, the more likely you are to respond effectively.

8. A response lacks aggressiveness.

A response targets the best outcome. It doesn’t focus on retribution or use anger as a tool. It’s calm, cool, collected, and intelligent. Aggressiveness often lacks logic and intelligence.

9. A response is constructive and seeks a solution.

Responses are solution-oriented and seek to improve the situation. Reactions don’t have the same purpose. Your life should be better after a good response. Your life is likely to be worse after a reaction.

So, do you react or respond in life? Can you see how responding is the better option in most situations? Consider the biggest mistakes you’ve made in your life. Did a reaction, instead of a response, lead to making that mistake?

Responding uses the best parts of you to make a decision. Reacting relies on your lower faculties. Avoid reacting in your life. Play it cool and respond instead.



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