14 Positive Alternatives to Nagging

Nagging is ineffective and puts a strain on your relationships. Instead, try some of these ways to get what you want. Some are so easy you can start doing them immediately while you work your way up to the more advanced strategies.

Simple Alternatives to Nagging

1. Do the math.

If you still need to convince yourself that nagging fails to get results, try counting how many times you say the same thing. The tenth time is likely to turn out the same as the first nine attempts. You have everything to gain by trying a new approach.

2. Focus on the positive.

Keep your eye on the big picture. When you think about how your family, friends and colleagues enrich your life, it's easier to cut them some slack on the less pleasant details of your interactions.

3. Do it yourself.

It may be faster and more satisfying to complete a task yourself rather than waiting for someone else to do it. Learn to replace the air filter in your car. Sweep the stairs or wash the dishes even when your spouse was going to do those jobs this week.

4. Become more flexible.

Let your kids know that you appreciate their willingness to help out even if their methods are different from your own. Smoothing out the bedspread makes the room look tidier even if you have to give up on hospital corners.

5. Let others experience the consequences of their actions.

Maybe your kids surprise you with a science fair project due the next morning on the same evening when you usually go grocery shopping. Eating tuna fish sandwiches for a week may help them understand the importance of giving you adequate notice.

6. Engage outside help.

Consider paying professionals for chores that cause ongoing conflicts. A weekly housecleaning service may be worth the investment. Find another parent at your kid's school who wants to take turns driving them to soccer practice.

7. Streamline your workload.

Chronic irritability is often a sign that you're trying to do too much. Figure out which responsibilities are priorities and which you can put aside.

8. Embrace technology.

Brief text messages and automated calendar reminders deliver the same information with less risk of putting people on the defensive. Remind your partner that you have a dinner party tonight without saying a word.

9. Take a time out.

Deal with sensitive subjects when you're feeling calm and collected. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a walk until you settle down.

More Advanced Alternatives to Nagging

1. Address the root issues.

Probe more deeply to see if nagging is a symptom of deeper issues in your relationships. Marital counseling or parenting classes may help you get to the bottom of what's going on.

2. Ask for what you want directly.

Work up the courage to state what you need clearly and tactfully. One skillful message beats years of beating around the bush.

3. Listen well.

Practice attentive listening. Concentrate on what the other person is saying and confirm that you understand. It's easier to cooperate with each other when we feel validated and cared for.

4. Nurture your self esteem.

Some studies suggest that women are more prone to nagging because they feel like they have less power. Encourage yourself with positive self talk and pursue meaningful goals. Feeling strong and secure makes you less vulnerable to finding faults in others.

If you're tired of repeating the same requests without getting the results you desire, it's time to try some alternatives to nagging. Change your expectations and improve your communication skills. You may wind up with a happier family life and a cleaner house.

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Cheers, Helene Malmsio

Related Reading: How to improve relationship communication

How To Repair A Broken Relationship

There are few things more stressful than a relationship breakdown. Not every relationship has to fail. There are ways to repair our broken relationships and find our way back to the things that once made us happy.

Let’s take a look at some simple ways you can move in a positive direction.

5 ways to repair your broken relationship:

1. Talk about your problems.

Be open and honest. Sometimes, genuine, meaningful discussions can be lost in the chaos of life. If you are having problems connecting with your partner, it may be worth sitting down and discussing them.

* Talk openly about where you think the relationship is failing. Hear each other’s side of the story and try not to interrupt each other. Build on each point made and be reasonable and fair.

* Try not to simply argue or insult each other. It can be difficult when you feel upset or angry, but try not to be too defensive, as it can cause even more conflict.

* Identify what is making you unhappy. Then, use positive reinforcement. Discuss exactly what you want to change and how you want to make that happen. It’s more productive to create an action plan than to simply insult each other.

2. Initiate a discussion about compromise.

Consider sitting down together and writing a list of reasons you got together in the first place. Create a list highlighting everything you like about your partner and get them to do the same.

* From there, identify what it is that bothers you about your partner. Get them to do the same.

* Together, make a list of compromises you are willing to make to help support the relationship. By openly discussing your issues, you will feel in control, respected, and listened to.

3. Go on a date.

Rekindle the magic. In our busy lives, we can all forget why we got together with our partners in the first place. You can change that.

* Book a table at your favorite restaurant. Go for an evening stroll together. Go on a date. Spend time in a relaxed environment getting to know each other again and reminding each other what it is you liked about each other.

* You could get creative and do something spontaneous on your date. Perhaps go to a theme park, a wildlife park, or go on a short break. Be wild and creative! It may ignite passion into your tired relationship.

4. Consider external sources of conflict.

Friends and family can be a valuable source of advice and company, and they can shape our lives. There are sometimes issues, however. Perhaps you have challenging in-laws or friends who don’t like your partner. If this is the case, tensions can boil over.

* Put some work into these relationships too. Sit down with the people potentially contributing to conflict in your relationship. Air out grievances and find common ground. It’ll take the strain off your relationship and make you feel less stressed!

5. Don’t be afraid to work on yourself.

Think about how you behave in your relationship. What kind of person are you becoming?

* We all need to take time for self-reflection. Consider how you treat your partner in your relationship. Are you compromising? Are you being fair? Can you tell yourself you're being the best version of yourself?

Relationships take work but don’t throw yours away because there are cracks in it. Remember, cracks can be fixed. If something is worth saving, take time to nurture it and repair it. Work together to find a solution and, most importantly, learn to compromise with each other.

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